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:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

*checks her email*
Okay, this better tell me how to turn people into anthro furs over the Internet or I'm gonna be disappointed

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

okay going to bed for real now

goodnight :sparkles_bi: πŸ’– :sparkles_dusk:

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

Me (trying to see where I stand with my nonbinary friends): are we frenbies or enebies

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

bash code Show more

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

idea: a fork of cat that, when not given any arguments, outputs "meow"

okay going to bed for real now

goodnight :sparkles_bi: πŸ’– :sparkles_dusk:

sometimes drinking directly from the jug is selfcare

*scrolling thru the tl*
oh I need to be up in 4 hours.....

*keeps scrolling*

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted
:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

In a world... where the government steals an entire hour from the populace every year... one group of rebels... is taking their time BACK!

You've got no choice but to stand and fight when you're accused...

of DAYLIGHT SAVINGS CRIME!

[coming to theaters soon]

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

How to Steal a Car

1. Identify a car. Is it locked? Continue to step 2.
2. Approach the door's lock. (There should only be one.)
3. Breathe on the lock. That's it.
4. Press yourself firmly against the lock until you squish in and fill the lock completely.
5. Turn yourself.
6. Enter the car.
7. Write your name on the registration with your best handwriting.
8. Check the back seat for Draculas. If no Draculas, continue to step 10.
9. AAAH! DRACULAS!
10. Finish stealing the car.

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

[sets hug on table, slides it over to you]

me: keep this one until you need it

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

judging by how a certain online payment system treats cuties desperate for donations, i can only say

paypal is a cop

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted
:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted
:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

i found it

the only acceptable baseball cap

the gayest one

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

Eating candy corn in the shower to improve my Chaotic Neutral stat

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted

programs are just DLC for your operating system

:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted
:sparkles_bi: :fox: :sparkles_dusk: boosted
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