there are two foxes inside of you

they are yelling at each other.

GOD they're LOUD

caps 

@zac They just WON'T STOP

ITS GETTING LOUDER

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

@zac you ever hear some foxes fucking in the woods outside your house? Let us assure you that it is distinctive 🙁

@violet @zac

Yeah they are (IRL).... best way I describe them is "screaming female"

@zac

*raises paw*

Uh... /technically/ there are four of me but I'll roll with it :D

#PluralJokes

@zac I hug them both. They continue to scream. "If you think about it, this is fucking cool," I say, but you can't hear me because the screaming has drowned me out completely.

@Colophonscrawl @zac afterwards, you notice things aren't as loud as they used to be.

You decide that your hearing is important and buy some hearing protection for the next bout with your foxes.

@violet @zac I am woken up in the middle of the night. The foxes have dug my ear plugs out from my ears. The ear plugs are in tatters now. Destroying them has excited the foxes; they begin to scream with even greater passion. It is 3:30 in the morning.

blood 

@Colophonscrawl @zac you show up to work the next day. Your boss compliments you on the bloody streaks coming out of your ears. You can't hear them. You can't hear anything anymore. The foxes scream in silent pantomime.

It is as things should be, and as a tear streaks down your face as you look towards an album you want to listen to, you look at the foxes, considering what they provided you.

It doesn't matter what you decide, they are foxes, and they are still there.

blood 

@violet @zac I begin to learn sign language in tacit recognition that this is simply my life now. As I practice sign language at home, the foxes bite at my hands. To them it's a game, and they want pets, which I provide to them sometimes because honestly I'm stuck this way, and blaming the foxes at this point is bolting the barn door after the horses have fled, so I might as well get to pet them, right? They enjoy the pets, and they show this by biting my fingers and by not letting go.

re: blood 

@Colophonscrawl @zac the doctors shake their heads solemnly after examining your hands. Fox mouths, cleaner than human mouths, are still not a good instrument for inflicting cuts to your hands. The infection has spread, and in fact, it's resistant to the antibiotics that exist.

The doctors sigh visibly, and write that you need to have your hands amputated. The infection is spreading quickly and there's not a chance to recover them.

You think about the foxes, what will they take next?

re: blood, surgery mention 

@violet @zac Just before the anesthesia kicks in to knock me out for surgery, I look over to see who my surgeon is. It is a fox, in surgical scrubs and a mask. The attending nurse? You guessed it, undoubtedly a fox. In fact they are the two foxes from before. Just before I have time to process the implications of this, the ketamine hits and I'm out like a light.

@Colophonscrawl @zac
This is the ideal thread. You might not like it, but this is actually peak performance.

Sign in to participate in the conversation